its all about pros and cons.

i just realised that after so long, being kept alive for so damn long, everything boils down to pros and cons. its like you spend too much on food with a limited amount of money, you dun get to buy stuff that you really need. you spend too much on redundant things like drinks and alcohol and smoke, you dun get to buy other stuff like running shoes, which might actually be more beneficial to health. you drive too fast, you get from place to place fast, but you might risk getting into accidents (i juz got scolded tonight by my passenger. how upsetting). you spend too much time procrastinating you juz end up losing time to study. how crappy.

it sucks to be in a situation where you are always on e losing end. too little money for too much wants and hobbies. it sucks to be born poor. it sucks to have to work for your own pocket money so that i can survive and go out often with people who actually have everything paid for and still get twice more den wat i work and earn each month. haiz. prices nowadays sting like siao. for a person with a stagnant allowance, and everything is increasing. how awful can that be.

even when you are working plenty to earn money, you have soooo little time for yourself, to enjoy. it sucks too. then life revolves around simply going out for short shopping sprees in the evenings after work, and compare with fellow workaholics how exciting their gadgets seem. its like, goodness me. how boring. and most of e working pple around me are like that. i have like totally NO intentions to fall into that category.

and of course, when you wanna be nice to pple around you when they are like soooo damn mean to you, you just end up torturing yourself. pros and cons again. how do you get to torture yourself? cos you are simply putting up with all the shit that people are giving you. sucks totally. i mean, if pple did give me shit, i would have cut off their balls and fried them so i could offer them to the cats in my hall that looks totally like garfield. same size, same colour, same look.

you make a choice, you suffer the consequences. you decide for yourself.

i absolutely hate it when pple tell me that. will someone return me to the time when i was still 8 years old? young and innocent and happy, everyday i am juz worried if i have enough games in my head to keep me entertained. and Lego. how can i forget my favourite game of all time. haha.

ok. enough of pros and cons tonight. maybe something else next time.