why the bloody fuck wun you just light up.
WHY WHY WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.!!!!!!!!
bloody oscillator doesnt even wanna oscillate.
FUCKKKK.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Its a GO.
i have decided to take up the job.
its good money. and since my FYP is stuck, i think i should nt be e only one losing sleep and putting in all e effort.
and put my upcoming holidays to good use. instead of sleeping at home, i should go earn some money.
for the upcoming rainy days.
dun ask me why i am torturing myself. but yes. money is helluva important to me now.
wish me luck. hope i dun fuck up my last sem in ntu for that sum of money.
its good money. and since my FYP is stuck, i think i should nt be e only one losing sleep and putting in all e effort.
and put my upcoming holidays to good use. instead of sleeping at home, i should go earn some money.
for the upcoming rainy days.
dun ask me why i am torturing myself. but yes. money is helluva important to me now.
wish me luck. hope i dun fuck up my last sem in ntu for that sum of money.
Friday, January 25, 2008
i am soooooo light!
this is gonna be the lightest i am ever gonna be. its worth taking a foto of my weight before it increases again. i am sooo gonna miss this number. haiz.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
so it all falls into place...
and it all makes sense. why i feel so fucked up recently.
its all the couples i see. its all the people holding hands. its the season for new relationships. so many people getting together. so many people being so happily attached. all the smiles and love that i see and feel, its almost tangible.
and watching pple that you still have a soft spot for, being all so nice and comfy with others, and all u can do is juz to stand one side and watch. boy, does that suck. maybe its jealousy. maybe its happiness that i feel for them. maybe its the feeling of being left out. maybe its the feeling of not being able to be like them, being nice and comfy with each other. maybe its the impression that you will never be the one. maybe its all of the above, a pinch of this, a sprinkling of that. and it all adds up to a wonderful dish, well seasoned.
i like to represent my feelings with songs. but this feeling i have now, a blender-mix of it, i totally cant thnk of any song to represent.
listening to gary barlow's So Help Me Girl, and how how how how i wish there will be a someone there for me to sing it to. haha. fat hope eh. u cant even feed yourself. left with 14 bucks till the end of the month.
now now, how exciting can that be.
STOP THINKING SHIT AND CONCENTRATE ON WATS MORE IMPORTANT.
FYP AND CAREER.
nothing else matters.
i juz hope i can b strong enough, and listen to my ownself and reasoning. haha and i am supposed to be over you. all e best in whoever that you deem fit to be the one for you.
time for a can of maximator.
its all the couples i see. its all the people holding hands. its the season for new relationships. so many people getting together. so many people being so happily attached. all the smiles and love that i see and feel, its almost tangible.
and watching pple that you still have a soft spot for, being all so nice and comfy with others, and all u can do is juz to stand one side and watch. boy, does that suck. maybe its jealousy. maybe its happiness that i feel for them. maybe its the feeling of being left out. maybe its the feeling of not being able to be like them, being nice and comfy with each other. maybe its the impression that you will never be the one. maybe its all of the above, a pinch of this, a sprinkling of that. and it all adds up to a wonderful dish, well seasoned.
i like to represent my feelings with songs. but this feeling i have now, a blender-mix of it, i totally cant thnk of any song to represent.
listening to gary barlow's So Help Me Girl, and how how how how i wish there will be a someone there for me to sing it to. haha. fat hope eh. u cant even feed yourself. left with 14 bucks till the end of the month.
now now, how exciting can that be.
STOP THINKING SHIT AND CONCENTRATE ON WATS MORE IMPORTANT.
FYP AND CAREER.
nothing else matters.
i juz hope i can b strong enough, and listen to my ownself and reasoning. haha and i am supposed to be over you. all e best in whoever that you deem fit to be the one for you.
time for a can of maximator.
Monday, January 21, 2008
blender mixed feelings
life sucks.
big time.
really big time.
i got all the emo shit thats inside me now, and its so well blended i got no idea wtf i am actually thinking. or feeling. or watever.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
big time.
really big time.
i got all the emo shit thats inside me now, and its so well blended i got no idea wtf i am actually thinking. or feeling. or watever.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Saturday, January 19, 2008
procrastination
its amazing how much work can get to you.
u got plenty to do. so much till u dunno where to start. but somehow u juz dun wanna start.
and u procrastinate all day bout it.
it just makes u a bigger loser.
and it so doesnt help that u r getting so emo and lonely nowadays.
boo.
u got plenty to do. so much till u dunno where to start. but somehow u juz dun wanna start.
and u procrastinate all day bout it.
it just makes u a bigger loser.
and it so doesnt help that u r getting so emo and lonely nowadays.
boo.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
life's so full of nothings.
and you just wonder what the hell is wrong with you. when you get too caught up with work, all you will wish for is free time. and when you get free time, its too much of it till its dreadful. life's so full of contradictions, so full of nonsense.
and i am just rambling bout nothing cos i am too exhausted thinking of my FYP. doomed might be a good word to use right nw. i am farrrrrrrr from completion. i got 7 weeks left. maybe 8. my partner is not at all stressed. wth is wrong with him.
and i got so much tings in my head now, i dunno if i am thinking straight or not. there are so much things i wanna blog it out, but i cant seem to remember any.
nvm. i shall wait till it hits me again.
till then. its time for some 明星3缺1。
and think if i should break my new year resolution of not skipping training, later in e morning.
and i am just rambling bout nothing cos i am too exhausted thinking of my FYP. doomed might be a good word to use right nw. i am farrrrrrrr from completion. i got 7 weeks left. maybe 8. my partner is not at all stressed. wth is wrong with him.
and i got so much tings in my head now, i dunno if i am thinking straight or not. there are so much things i wanna blog it out, but i cant seem to remember any.
nvm. i shall wait till it hits me again.
till then. its time for some 明星3缺1。
and think if i should break my new year resolution of not skipping training, later in e morning.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Colin
Local origin of name: English
From the Greek root name "Nicholas"
Victorious People
Emotional Spectrum
He hides his true feelings on occasion.
Personal Integrity
He will tell the truth even when it hurts.
Personality
When he is not talking, he is laughing.
Relationships
Some of Colin's friends are just like him.
Travel & Leisure
Relaxing is an art-form to him.
Career & Money
A mentor will guide him down his career path.
Life's Opportunities
With the support of many friends, he will go far.
Friday, January 4, 2008
last match of my IH career.
its over. waterpolo that is.
we lost. we should not have lost. but we did. we played too clean. the team wasnt ready for the dirtiness of the opposing team.
i was to blame. got out of the game too early. did not insist to go back in. should have been able to block the 4th shot that they scored. i should have been able to score another equaliser, if i did not hesitate, and then send the ball to somewhere else.
haiz. its over. no use gripping over things already over.
its been a good 4 years playing polo for hall 12. thats 1 thing i am very sure i will miss when i leave. at least i scored one b4 i ended my polo career. sounds miserable. but what the hell.
we lost. we should not have lost. but we did. we played too clean. the team wasnt ready for the dirtiness of the opposing team.
i was to blame. got out of the game too early. did not insist to go back in. should have been able to block the 4th shot that they scored. i should have been able to score another equaliser, if i did not hesitate, and then send the ball to somewhere else.
haiz. its over. no use gripping over things already over.
its been a good 4 years playing polo for hall 12. thats 1 thing i am very sure i will miss when i leave. at least i scored one b4 i ended my polo career. sounds miserable. but what the hell.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
to take it up or not?
haiz.
to take it up or not? its a good opportunity for me to earn money, to get some experience too.
but i gotta balance up with work.
not to mention i so wanna slack for my last semester in NTU.
HAIZ.
to take it up or not? its a good opportunity for me to earn money, to get some experience too.
but i gotta balance up with work.
not to mention i so wanna slack for my last semester in NTU.
HAIZ.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
A New Year.
its the start of a new year. its actually quite a scary thought. i am finishing school. i am going out to work in a few months. no more studying life. i am starting to fear the working world. i enjoy my studying life now. no worries, nothing. its all PT work and play. no pressures, no expectations. but what the hell, i am getting old. its time to move on and follow my age.
Resolutions for a new 2008:
1. Smoke less.
--- A max of 20 sticks a month ---
2. Train harder.
--- NEVER SKIP TRAINING! NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU WANT TO, and FOLLOW YOUR DAILY REGIME! ---
3. Curse less.
--- Stop swearing, and be less pissed off at people. no matter how much they cheese u off ---
4. Work harder.
--- Money is the essence. working harder earns u more money in the future. so you will get more essence in the future ---
5. Spend less.
--- Get only what you REALLY REALLY need. there is no need for too much luxuries ---
6. Stop thinking about looking for a GF.
--- Girls are bad. they are horrible creatures. stay away from them. ---
7. Fulfill promises.
--- Whatever you promise people, you better fulfill them. its bad karma not to do so. so better think twice when you promise anyone anyting ---
8. Get GOLD for IPPT.
--- Its high time to get a gold. so run more, train harder. Ties in with (2) ---
I never did follow any of my resolutions. But what the hell. Its cool to have them anyway. Maybe i should attempt to follow them for once.
Resolutions for a new 2008:
1. Smoke less.
--- A max of 20 sticks a month ---
2. Train harder.
--- NEVER SKIP TRAINING! NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU WANT TO, and FOLLOW YOUR DAILY REGIME! ---
3. Curse less.
--- Stop swearing, and be less pissed off at people. no matter how much they cheese u off ---
4. Work harder.
--- Money is the essence. working harder earns u more money in the future. so you will get more essence in the future ---
5. Spend less.
--- Get only what you REALLY REALLY need. there is no need for too much luxuries ---
6. Stop thinking about looking for a GF.
--- Girls are bad. they are horrible creatures. stay away from them. ---
7. Fulfill promises.
--- Whatever you promise people, you better fulfill them. its bad karma not to do so. so better think twice when you promise anyone anyting ---
8. Get GOLD for IPPT.
--- Its high time to get a gold. so run more, train harder. Ties in with (2) ---
I never did follow any of my resolutions. But what the hell. Its cool to have them anyway. Maybe i should attempt to follow them for once.
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